Grandmother…
Feb 10th, 2008 by admin
Recent family events have got me reminiscing on my past and looking at where my life stands today. My grandmother (dads mom) is in the hospital today and has been in the hospital on and off for the last two weeks. It started with dehydration, diarrhea and a sever sinus infection which my parents were trying hard to get her to call an ambulance and go to the hospital. She refused and so my parents traveled to St. Louis to take her at which point they admitted her into the hospital. Since then she has been in and out with the flu, pneumonia and most recently bronchitis and diarrhea. Most recently she is telling the doctors and my mother she is tired of it and wants to die.
Growing up I only had one grandparent, my moms dad died in WWII as a bomber pilot and her mom died of pneumonia when I was only 5 years old. My mom has a step dad who is a nice man but I never felt like he was close to me like a grandparent should be to a kid. I don’t put any of that blame on him I just think it was the way it was and he had a LOT of other grand kids.
My father’s dad died when I was very young and I only have two memories of him. One was him visiting with us in Battlefield, MO and the other was him very frail, old and dying in a skilled nursing facility of Huntington’s disease. This was all before the 3rd grade and it’s the same disease my father is struggling with today.
So back to my Grandmother, well let’s just say she is a complex and difficult woman. As a kid it was always about being proper around her. I bet for 15 years she sent me pajamas and handkerchiefs as presents….I never used either of them. I remember dancing to classical music at her home, being amazed by the china and watching my father struggle with her. Hell we called her Grandmother cause she wouldn’t be a grandma and mom wouldn’t let her be Nanner. LOL it was a compromise…
When I was much older my dad told me many stories of his childhood and it was apparent I had a lot in common with my Grandfather. He also amazed me with the stories of his struggles against his mother. As an adult I soon came to understand those struggles on my own. Once we went to visit her when she had knee replacement surgery and I thought it was a pleasant visit. But she for the first time lashed out at me…
A few facts she learned on my visit; my battle with encephalitis a couple years before, two speeding tickets and finally we gave her a small bottle of perfume as a get well present. This turned into a 6 page letter from her explaining to me that I was undergoing a identity crisis, trying to kill myself and trying to buy love. It caused a riff and I didn’t talk to her for almost a year before she called and blamed it on the pain killers. That’s the closest thing to an apology to ever expect from her.
Anyway, at 94 years of age I respect her stamina, strength, intelligence and determination but I worry about all the stress this puts on my parents. Especially my mother who has her hands full dealing with my father and his disease. Ahhhh LIFE….and the adventure continues….